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Cite this short article
Wiley, Angela Roentgen. 2007. Connecting because several: Correspondence experience for match matchmaking. This new Message board to own Family unit members and you will Individual Products, several (1).
Good telecommunications and condition-resolving skills is actually critical for relationships achievements; but not, fit dating want more than just a communication and you can problem-fixing experiences. There is a common more-dependence on such just like the “royal way to relationship and you can a surviving, happier wedding”(Gottman and you may Gold 1999, 8). Such event are very important although not sufficient to have strong dating and you may are contextualized as part of the huge pair system. (For facts about almost every other secret means in order to building and you can maintaining good suit dating, see the Federal Extension Matchmaking and you will Relationships Degree Model,
In her book, This new Dance regarding Union, practitioner Harriet Lerner (2002) discusses which have a genuine sound within the essential intimate relationships. She argues you to a crucial part of experiencing an authentic voice is “publicly shar[ing] ability and additionally troubles and you may susceptability (Lerner 2002, 3). The lady long-label medical habit shows that really intimate communications requires lovers completely paying attention to one another and asking making clear questions that allow them understand both further. Properly sexual people are able state their unique ideas and you can opinion, though people differ from its lover’s.
Bad perceptions. Negative interpretation activities have a tendency to exists when partners faith the newest terrible as an alternative of the greatest in the both (Fincham, Bradbury, and Scott, 1990; Holtzworth-Munroe and you can Jacobson 1985). Instance lovers are certainly not “staying they self-confident.” They might practice a crude start-right up quote based on a bad translation or expectation. They could change against or out-of its mate when answering so you can a bid. Couples who are prone to negative perceptions you’ll alternatively was humorous an optimistic factor in the brand new other’s behaviors and you will revealing all of them with their spouse. Such as for example, in place of, “You did perhaps not take-out the brand new trash because you must generate me personally enraged,” Jim might tell his girlfriend, Peg, “I am certain you didn’t take out the scrap as you think I’d have more to increase the fresh can.”
Coan, J., J. Gottman, J. Babcock, and you may N. Jacobson. 1997. Battering and also the podЕ‚Д…czenie chatavenue men getting rejected away from infiuence away from lady. Competitive Choices -388.